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On the Pointless Dark Art of Self-Sabotage


"Social comparison has always been an issue," but now with social media it is universalized and globalized to such an extent that the slightest hint of perfectionism within ourselves can leave us twisted in knots of inadequacy, anxiety, and desperation to measure up to some impossible standard.


On relatively easy external goals versus the work to achieve meaningful internal goals. Also, how the depth of our affliction can result in an equal depth of wisdom and compassion, if we are open through what can be a profoundly mortifying and humiliating process, at times.


Can we emerge from trauma with a deeper understanding of what "life is really about?"


Can recoiling into a shared fantasy, a kind of cocoon of avoidance and denial – either alone, toward ourselves, or toward or with others – also be a kind of self-sabotage? Also, on the fraught nature of defining people and situations as toxic and, "if you spot it, you got it."


"How would I proceed in this relationship if I knew this person was never going to change?" Yet, in a world where the only constant is change, how can that ever, actually, be wholly true?


How much of this complex topic then comes down to ever-increasing levels of radical honesty, forgiveness, patience, and tolerance – for ourselves and others –versus constantly feeling like we need to Do Something about The Situation in order to maintain an illusion of control?

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